So, I guess I will begin this post with the wonderful news that our first home study visit is scheduled for Thursday, February 1st at 2PM. Our social worker called on last Thursday and I was tickled that she could see us so soon. We will then have two follow up meetings and an official home study will follow...God is SOOOO good and the process is moving so smoothly!
SO, now I move to my latest struggle. For those that know me personally, you probably know my desire to BF our little one. When I found out that it was possible for an adoptive mother to BF, I was so excited. The opportunity to be like an "ordinary" mother. So, I ventured out to purchase nursing bras, pads, nipple creams, and storage bags. I picked up all the drugs prescribed by my doctor and added the protocol to my Treo/Palm, so that I could be reminded daily of what I need to take. After doing all of that, I begin to wonder wouldit be worth it. It was going to be A LOT of work to get milk production started and keep it going until our little one arrives...especially not knowing when this will occur. Pumping in a construction trailer and lugging a pump to and from Baltimore, was just not appealing. So I was struggling, weighing the pro's and con's of BF and FF. I know that BF is best for the baby, but Baby C will have had a bottle for at least seven days before he/she arrives home. It will take four weeks at a minimum to get Baby C accustomed to the breast if he/she takes it at all. I also did not want to be stressed out and tense, becasue Baby C will be able to sense this and make bonding harder.
The answer is clear, but it was such a hard decision for me, until my husband said, "Baby, almost every woman that gives birth can produce milk and feed her baby on the breast or through a bottle. Not many woman can love a child that was never birthed by them. You are right, you are not ordinary...you a extraordinary". That made me cry of course...what a great man that I have...thank you Jesus! Needless to say, I purchased powder formula bags this eveving and will be returning BF products to the stores this week. I will continue to be in prayer about my decision and hold on to my EXTRAORDINARY status :)
NikNak
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Christmas 2007
Ken, Nakira and Kayden
Christmas 2007
About Me
- Nakira
- O' Carolina, United States
- After dealing with infertility for about two years, we were led by God to adoption. The blog has gone from looking for faith to looking for sanity on this road called motherhood!
2 comments:
Moments like that make you love your husband even more don't they? :) Thankfully for me, God answered the question of BF or not before I really had to decide. Isabella happened too fast to even think about it and He answered in a different way for Amelia. I agree that if you're stressed out it would make bonding harder. And as much as you love this baby already, I can't imagine there will be any problems with bonding. Neither of my girls had any problem with bonding and since I was bottle feeding it was also kind of nice for my hubby to be able to feed them. Mainly on the weekends he would get up some in the middle of the night to feed them and it was actually a special time for him of bonding as well. (Plus mama got to sleep a little then :)) I remember one time that a family member that had come to visit asked if she could feed Isabella while I did -- whatever it was. I hesitantly said yes, I wanted to be the one feeding her, but I thought "she did come all the way to see her", etc. Anyway, she started trying to feed her the bottle and Isabella wouldn't eat it, after about 5-10 minutes, I took over and she ate right up. It was one of the best moments ever, she had already gotten used to mama feeding her, even if it was a bottle. :) Kenny and I were pretty adament about making sure one of us was one of the ones who would feed her. Since I couldn't breast feed I was still going to use that time to bond and it worked! Obviously whatever God leads you to do is right, for me I'm glad I didn't BF, I think I would have had a hard time, been stressed out, and had to supplement formula anyway. I know it is best for the baby, but then especially with Isabella when I didn't have a choice, I had to realize that God was in control of even that. That He was the one in charge of her health as well as everything else. Long post, but I love your hubby's thoughts -- don't worry about being the ordinary mama when God purposed for you to be the Extraordinary Mama!
Ahhhh....that almost made ME cry! Thank you for sharing your adventure of making this very hard decision!!! Your husband is RIGHT, and what a gift he is to you and you to him! Praise the Lord!!! I'm so glad the Lord has given you peace with a decision!! The Lord is so kind, so kind!!!
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