Our first home study visit on Friday, which was a blessing. Our social worker is AWESOME! She was a lot of fun and made us feel very comfortable in the process. Our next visits are the 12th and 13th and then we are done with the home study...thank the Lord. Our next step is finishing up our online profile.
On Thursday night, Ken and I went to register at BRU and Target. We had already done a small registry at PBK for family members. That was fun, but probably not as exciting as if I was pregnant...who knows!
I am in a funk today! I just want to be normal. I feel like my life is currently out of control. I hate to miss work and the adoption processes have caused me to do so and will continue to cause me to do so. I want a normal job and a normal life and a normal religion and a normal reproductive system. Is that too much to ask. I am still excited about the adoption but just realize how we have NO control over this process. The thing that saddens me most is that I do not feel that people resepct our adoption as they would a pregnancy...if that makes any sense. For example, my SW came by the house on Friday and folks at my job were still calling me. If I had gone to an OB doctor's appointment, that would not have happened. I am going to be out on maternity leave for three months and no one has stop to make plans. I carry 75% of the weight in my office so my absence will create a dent...a BIG dent. If I was pregnant, people would pay more attention. I just feel like people view this adoption is second rate to conceiving and birthing a child and I am beginning to think that people will look at our little one with the same attitude. That makes me sad and angry. I just have a lot going on emotionally right now and I am no where near my PMS week. You all be blessed and keep me in prayer.
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You poor thing -- I know exactly what you are going through. And you are right, people don't treat it the same. I have had my share of inconsiderate people when it comes to adoption. The good thing for me was that Isabella was born before we had actually told anyone we were adopting (other than the few we had to have reference letters from) and before we registered. I think that was a blessing for me because like you said people don't view it as being pregnant -- but for me I had my precious baby, so nothing else mattered. I had those same fears though that people would look at my child and think that she's second rate, but I think for those that are close to me its almost been the opposite, they were amazed as we were how God brought our children to us -- and I think seeing Him through us in the whole process made them realize that this definitely wasn't a second choice. And honestly, there are still times that I would love my life to be "normal", that I could feel somewhat in control of my life (I know how silly to think that I could control my life), but somehow being like others who can say "I want another baby" and get pregnant would be nice. Just continue to trust God and know that His Way is PERFECT (Ps. 18:30) and that He says in Psalm 113:9
"He maketh the barren woman to keep house, and to be a joyful mother of children. Praise ye the LORD." No matter what anyone else thinks, God is going to make you that joyful mother -- even if you don't get to go through the birthing process. And don't let ANYONE make you think this is second rate, just be open to share with them what a blessing this is and just How Good God IS!! (I'll keep you in my prayers!)
Well I was going to try and write a well thought out helpful comment but Deanna did such a marvelous job I don't know that there is anything else to say.
I do know what you are feeling. The feelings are normal. Once that baby is in your arms nothing else matters! Trust that and trust the Lord and lean not on your own understanding!
I can't wait to hear the news! By the way...you can think of it as more exciting than pregnancy because for you it could just happen at a moment's notice. Others have to wait a whole nine months! Not trying to say one is better than the other just trying to be helpful!
I'm sorry I didn't read this sooner, but hoping you are having a better day today...that some sweet encouragement has come from SOMEwhere : ) If not, may the Lord be near now, sister, showing you that your life has been perfectly fashioned the way that will bring Him most glory AND you MOST joy!!!! I KNOW it doesn't feel that way right now...I've been there....and it HURTS so deeply. But I promise the Lord is going to restore you, and you are going to be SO thankful that adoption was a chosen path for you!!!! Not too many are chosen for this path, sister, BUT you have been!!! It's a privilege!!!!!
I wasn't working when we were going through the adoption process, BUT we were at a church....and we faced MANY of the same things!!! It was SO hard!!! It's almost as if people just didn't think it would really happen. But I think the real issue was that people hadn't been around it before, and so they just didn't know how to talk about adoption....and therefore made it seem like they didn't consider our journey to parenthood as significant as others (bio). So, I would say it's not that your co-workers don't care. I'd say they are ignorant (not stupid!!!) - just ignorant in how to best serve you and how to talk to you during this season!!!
I'm so sorry you have to face those challenges. It's HARD!!! But you have sisters who HAVE been through it, and who love you!!! So, know you can call us or email us if you ever need encouragement!!! : ) You can drop by too, spend the weekend, whatever you need! : ) There is NO doubt this season is HARD, and hormonal!!!! Adoption is EMOTIONALLY hard - there really is an emotional labor vs the physical labor of adoption...neither are easier/harder....they are hard in their own ways, unique, and amazing! But adoption is definitely rarer, and therefore, you have to face your own emotions along with facing the ignorance of others (which adds to your emotions)!!!
May Jesus encourage your heart today - giving you truth to fight the lies!!! The father of lies doesn't want you to enjoy this season, but your Father, the Father of Truth DOES!! May your heart be encouraged that He didn't choose you for this road to "punish" you, but He chose you for this road because He loves you!!! You are going to be a TESTIMONY to your coworkers!!!
love you, girl!
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