I have given up on having any. I wan to just live life as a fluid process in order to avoid disappointment. Have you ever felt like everyone else has a clear plan for their lives and things ALWAYS go as planned? I do...it appears to happen for everyone around us, just not for us. I know that Jeremiah speaks on the fact that the Lord knows the plans that he has for us...I just never feel like my desires line up with what He has for me. I even think that my desires are His desires, but...WRONG!
As my DH and I were walking from dinner in Washington, DC this evening...we begin to have the above conversation. And before I could finish my statement, he was completing my sentence. He, like myself, feels that NOTHING in our lives has ever been easy...NOTHING. I don't know why we thought that becoming parents would be any different. As we look towards adoption, we are gearing up for the worst and possibly some disappointment...I know in my heart that this road will be just as tough as the last 18 months have proven to be. I would like to think differently...just afriad to.
Be blessed...NikNak
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Christmas 2007
Ken, Nakira and Kayden
Christmas 2007
About Me
- Nakira
- O' Carolina, United States
- After dealing with infertility for about two years, we were led by God to adoption. The blog has gone from looking for faith to looking for sanity on this road called motherhood!
2 comments:
Been thinking about you and wondering how you and hubby are doing! You are in my thoughts and prayers! Hang in there!
I just wrote you the LONGEST comment and lost it. I'll try to recap.
It just seems like everytime I respond to your posts I always say the same thing, how sorry I am and how much I understand. I always identify so much with the things you say.
I so much understand what you mean about how it seems like everyone elses lives go as planned and like things come so easy for them. I too often wonder what I've done so wrong in my life to deserve such heartaches. I'm learning each day more and more that I just have to surrender to God's plan for my life and not expect things to go as I had planned. It's so much easier said than done.
You are probably so sick of hearing it but God does have a plan for your life. He loves you and He stays true to His promises, He takes care of His children. Lately I've been wondering if it was out of His love for me that He has been withholding a baby from me all these years because He knew what was going to happen now. Not that I'm saying something bad is going to happen to you, just pondering my own situation.
Anyway...I should stop rambling now - but I'll say it once again, you are not alone. Be thankful that you have a husband that loves you and the Lord. I overlooked that for so many years because of my infertility heartache and now I'm wishing I had appreciated it more. I love you girl, keep your head up.
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